NJ Belly Dancing Articles

Articles and Contributions From Our Community

On Appearance and Dance by Anne Marie

Musings on being a Fat Belly Dancer by Miriam H.F. Berger

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On Appearance and Dance

I had always admired Ballerinas since I was a little girl. As a little girl though, I never knew that one had to have a certain appearance to be a Ballerina. This seemingly important detail eluded me until one day a fellow classmate enlightened me at the age of 13. I asked about taking classes at her school and she informed me that not only was I not thin enough at 5’2 and less than 90 lbs but I was too old to start anyway. If I was too old and not thin enough then perhaps any chance at dance was over for me…no? It was not until I was much older after having my first child that I took the chance on a Jazz class. It was for adults and I figured that everyone there had to be older than 18 and most likely not less than 90 lbs. The teacher didn’t even blink when I strolled in now at 175 lbs (pregnancy does a number on the body) and at the ripe old age of 25. The class was in the midst of training for a production where they would be doing ‘Thriller’. Not nearly ready to join them, the teacher pulled me aside and asked what my previous training was. I had told her that I didn’t have any, that I was a closet dancer. She laughed and said that *closet* dancers were some of her best students. Sadly I could not continue as the lack of sleep from a colicky newborn, a full time job and a yet, undiagnosed thyroid condition left me barely able to function, let alone dance. She never mentioned weight though; she seemed to only care about dance. Eventually, I was able to periodically take classes in Country Line Dancing, Latin, Ballroom and the infamous Jitterbug. The Latin teacher would frequently tell me to not *rock the boat* during the Merengue, an apparent fatal flaw that befalls those outside of the Latin culture. Being Latin though…I needed to get my act together as Latins cannot be awkward. I found the East Coast Swing particularly fun, led by an 80+ year old man who had won numerous awards in his day. He was pretty old; LOL, but one of the best damn dancers I had seen perform this. Though I had lost a considerable amount of weight at that point, others in the class were not as thin and this never seemed a factor. Perhaps being thin and young pertained only to those who wanted to perform.

After my second pregnancy, I once again gained a tremendous amount of weight that I was unable to lose no matter how I tried. I still did not know my thyroid was failing and the pregnancy had slowed my metabolism to a crawl. Desperate, I wanted to re-sign up for a dance class but had exhausted all the area local classes except for one. I purchased a set of Zumba tapes and practiced religiously but I was lonely, missing the camaraderie of a classroom atmosphere. A flyer would come in every 3 months advertising for local Belly Dance classes, the one and only class I had not tried and I would laugh at it and then throw it in the garbage. Surely I was too old and too fat for that one!

Then one day I was walking around my property and for some odd reason the thought came to me about aging. I was now in my early 30’s and thinking, what if I was 80 right now instead. What would I have wished I could have accomplished. My thoughts kept going back to my 80 year old teacher and dance. Would it have really mattered if I was too fat and too old to dance? What would an 80 year old version of me think of this? Should I allow the 13 year old girl in my head to guide my life or those who feel the same and do what society dictates? Never one to follow the social norm, I went into the house and signed myself up for classes.

I was terrified my first class, looking around at a group of women who were mostly young and thin. There was a plus size, jolly, red headed, middle age women in an absolutely crazy costume making her way around the room. I was simultaneously amused and mesmerized. It wasn’t until till she stepped in the front of the class and I realized that she was the Instructor that I was able to breathe a sigh of relief. She would not judge me for my weight and age, only for my dance. And judge she did…gently, light heartedly and always with a sense that I could do it if I just tried harder. Try, I did. I confess to being an utter disaster in Belly Dance. It was the one dance that did not come naturally for me. Frankenstein comes to mind when describing my early years. I confess to still not being a great dancer now but my how far I have come and, even better, what a lifetime of experiences that I can someday share with my grandchildren. Yes…Grand mom was a Belly Dancer; she even balanced a sword on her head. I know the 80 year old version of me will be smiling when I share my life with a future generation. It was during this time that I fully realized what a social construct the concept of weight (and age for that matter) is in regards to dance. In Ballet it is yes, important to be gracefully, limber and sustain balance and I imagine the thinner one is, the easier this is to obtain. But Belly dance was a whole different genre with a whole new meaning and I had found an advantage of having a little extra to shake!

During my journey, I was fortunate enough to meet one of my dearest friends and partner in crime, Cerisa. An incredibly beautiful and talented, plus size dancer who is impossible to keep up with during duets. I would be tossing my cookies in the bathroom by the time this girl would stop spinning and the veil work she learned years ago in her native Utah makes me green with envy! Her size was never a factor and she never let it stop her from doing the things she wanted to do. What was truly amazing though was the fact that she never realized what an inspiration she was for dancers of all sizes.

Not long ago an Instructor confided in me about a situation that occurred at a studio she was teaching at. While waiting for her own class to start, she decided to observe another Belly Dance class. It was in this class that a student was commenting to the teacher about how pretty and thin she was. Knowing the teacher, she is not only pretty and thin but quite talented. This student went on to say how her other Instructors were old and fat and was quite perturbed that an old, fat dancer would dare teach, let alone perform.

While certain audiences are not receptive to certain ages and sizes in the performing arena this is not a standard of Belly Dance. Rather it is a societal perpetuation and it is often reflected and reinforced, not by confidant individuals nor men alone ( we can’t blame them for everything!), but by a level of insecurity and ignorance. The Belly Dance world embraces all when it comes to the dance. Very few Instructors enforce a certain appearance for performing and, when they do, it is often because the venue won’t allow otherwise. Restaurants do indeed have a certain expectation but not for them, for the American customers who prefer a certain look, sometimes at the sake of ability. At no time however, is there a certain appearance expected for class whether by student nor Instructor.

It’s a hard adjustment but for those entering *our* world, they need to leave this perception behind. While I am prone to delusioning myself when it comes to appearance despite having taught tolerance for many years, I have noticed that those with the greatest difficulty are either those who use thinness as a tool to prove they are somehow better than others because they are thin or by those who are overweight, have been forced to conform and are angry others don’t follow suit.

I decided to write this article because I love Belly Dance, I love all our dancers ~ big or small, old or young. I love to see the smiles on their faces and the enjoyment and confidence they have gained and I love that all of them have decided to follow a path lesser travelled to follow their passions despite what anyone says. I also want to try and dampen out the 13 year old voices who, for those that have thought but not dared to enter our realm, are being held back by. I often think how tragically sad and limiting our dance genre if we imposed such strict regulations. Surely we would be, at best, adequate because appearance would trump ability. When we choose appearance first, then we lose great talent AND Instruction. Its inevitable as bias and ignorance oppress, not just the victims but those who harbor such views.

For those brave enough to shake a hip scarf...May we all still be dancing at 80, fat or thin and everything in between!

Oh the stories we will tell………………

~ Anne Marie

Pictured: Cerisa and myself having fun at Wrightstown, September 2009.

On " Senior Bellydance"; for women from 50 up and to infinity......

I personally am not a’ Senior’ nor in my lifetime do I ever intend to be.. As long as I am capable of dancing and teaching others to feel the beauty of the music and the movement, I am young. There is great joy for me in instructing others to do this; To loosen their bodies and free themselves of years of rigidity. To help others let go of stereotypical ideas of what a woman should or should not be doing after childbearing and menopause. To learn to feel free and happy at this newfound sense of freedom and femininity and give her back the control of her own body. It is liberating for me and for the women that I teach, emotionally, physically and mentally. The changes are so difficult for some to make, and when it starts to happen when they free themselves to dance and move to the music, there is a new woman facing me; one with self confidence, posture and what we like to call it “attitude”!

The movements of Oriental dance are non- stressful. These are basically isolations of the torso and this is probably the most difficult part for western woman to learn, particularly those who are older. These movements involve rotations of the shoulder, rib cage and hip area plus the use of the arms in conjunction with the body. They involve the legs but not in a pounding and painful way.

The movements of the dance may be adapted to all body types and all sizes which is the beauty of it all.. There is no specific type of woman who can or cannot dance. There are very large women, who are light on their feet and beautiful to watch .Short women who lengthen their bodies while they dance and stooped women who regain the control of their shoulders and necks.

Belly dance has been historically beneficial in child bearing. I do not wish to go into this realm as most of those that I instruct are well past that. It is invaluable in boosting the immune system through the lymph glands, and lubricating the joints through the release of synovial fluid in the joints. Women with arthritis have claimed to be pain free while and after they dance. This is documented as I have heard and repeated to me quite frequently. It is known, that Belly dance and its emphasis on the hips and pelvic area aide in the difficulties of incontinence by strengthening the muscles in that area. Psychiatric problems that many face such as depression have been notably helped by restoring confidence and a sense of wellbeing. Seeing the changes in the women after just several classes makes me feel that all the effort they go though are more than worthwhile! For myself, it is a purely joyous feeling to observe these changes and having been an important part of it.

Music of course, adds so much of the cachet of the classes. At first, it is important to realize that there are many forms of music that may be chosen. None of this is written in stone. The Arabic music, some of which is atonal and wailing, does not call to my’ inner dancer.’ I prefer to choose more melodic melodies from Turkey and Lebanon, Israel and Greece, let alone some Spanish melodies and New age music to warm up to. There are Indian chants and Mantras which work well as well. Better if the music is melodious with little vocalization, as after all, how many of us know the languages and who knows if we are dancing appropriately to the words of that particular song?? It is important to enter the feeling of the music and to interpret it as we wish individually using the many steps and movements we are learning.

There is much room for self expression here and the best dancers are not necessarily the most attractive, the slimmest or the youngest in the group. The best dancers are the ones that feel and dance with and to the music.

Colors also adds greatly to the dance. Women are free to choose which color costume suits them and which colors soothe them. Costume and color are fantastic ways to express oneself and motivate the dancer. Many many websites are selling garments for belly dance, and it is not too difficult to find patterns which are easy enough to sew. there are so many ways to hide or disguise the not so perfect body...

Going back a bit to the dance itself, there are many adjustments that I have made to teach older women. It is very important to have a longer warm up, which acts as a lube job for the joints. It is useless to jump into dancing without a warm up for obvious reasons. I also find that asking the women if they are dealing with any physical problems which are as a rule, rotator cuffs and hips, knees and backs. In that case ,she must simply avoid doing to many repetitions in the class. Yet, in teaching older women, I repeat each movement during each class, and many times during that class. They are not simple movements, especially with the previously stated issue of the immobile torso. Once some movement in the torso is achieved, it is then possible to go on to the basic hip isolations and rib cage isolations. It may take some time. Nothing comes easily in Belly dance but sufficient repetition and warm ups will eventually free most women from the rigidity and tightness they are dealing with. The stooped shoulder posture is totally unacceptable and poise and stance are integral to dancing. The pelvis must also be trained to be tucked back during movements which brings the body into alignment. Some Yoga and Tai Chi movements are helpful in achieving the correct posture and centering of the Belly dance.

It is tiring to defend the Oriental Dance from those who only think of it as vulgar and déclassé. It brings joy and satisfaction to thousands of women worldwide from all levels of society in diverse nations of the world. That it has reached out to the older women of society, those who have been declared un-sexy and used up ( or expired) by men in general is a great coupe for women.

That it has reached Israeli society as a whole and has not been restricted to the Sephardic (Arabic) culture is also a large step into integrating the various cultures of Israel incidentally.

As a woman, teaching older women to do this wonderful dance, showing them how to express their emotions through movement, their sensuality, and their grace is a still larger and more important element of aging in this society. It is just as appealing to the Jewish woman as it is to the Christian woman, the African American Woman the Oriental or Latina. Not one group is more adept than another. All love it and try intensely to learn it. Some are surprisingly successful and turn into wonderful dancers of grace and agility.

There are troupes of older dancers worldwide that perform at various venues; perhaps not the nightclubs of their younger counterparts, but a fundraisers, nursing homes, veterans hospitals, JCC’s and social gatherings. They will dress accordingly, many choosing to wear bodysuits and harem pants or long dresses covered in sequins. It is of no matter what they wear or where they perform. The learning of the Belly dance after many years of homemaking or sedentary careers is a brave new world open to women, who feel in many ways that their lives as women ended with menopause and empty nests. More than anything, it is an affirmation of womanhood in the second half of life and the empowerment of women to move and dance and express themselves through their bodies once again.

I genuinely love teaching women to dance. For me, it has opened up a new world of teaching in itself and helping others to reach goals, including my own. For myself, it is amazing to touch the lives of others, and give them the tools to learn to dance, move and emotionally free themselves of sometimes lifelong inhibitions. It is a way of sharing one of my secret loves, which for many years, I did not expose due to events in my life, the opinions of others , and now, feel free enough to express and share.

Sandi Cohen (Sandra Steuer Cohen) of Teaneck,

A Dance that is "yours for life"; not by age, size, experience or appearance....

Musings on being a Fat Belly Dancer

A dancer that I admire greatly posted on her blog recently the single sentence: “sometimes it’s hard being a fat belly dancer”…. This statement sums up my emotional condition of late more succinctly than anything I’ve managed to come up with on my own. It’s crossed my mind that we spend a lot of time in the belly dance world focusing on how empowering this beautiful dance form is, about how much joining with our sisters in this ancient art fills us with joy. And that’s all very true, but I find that it’s a hard thing to explain to people who haven’t had the same personal experiences that there are parts, sometimes, that take some of that joy away, and that falling unsuspectingly into those parts can be very painful.

Some of it can be pointed out to others who haven’t had the experiences themselves. Like the difficulty that exists in something as simple as purchasing your first hip scarf. Most students simply buy one from their teacher, as many belly dance instructors have them for sale as a courtesy to their students. But if, like me, your hips measure 50+ inches – those “one size fits all” hip scarves aren’t going to fit, and many teachers don’t even know where to send you to buy a plus size hip scarf. It’s certainly not an insurmountable issue, but it’s harder for that plus size dancer, and the simple experience of going to put on that beautiful blue jingly hip scarf and realizing it isn’t going to fit, can be emotionally crushing to a new student.

As time moves on, and the plus size student has figured out what to do about a hip scarf, and waded bravely into a class full of women whose bodies don’t look anything like hers – her skills and abilities improve just like everyone else’s in the class – and now perhaps it’s time for a first performance. The costumes that are readily available for the rest of the dancers often don’t come in her size, or if they do, don’t flatter her body the same way they do everyone else’s. Again this isn’t insurmountable – dancers who sew, or who know someone who does, often opt to make their own costuming, parts from various suppliers that do come in the larger sizes can be pieced together, and through the internet you can find people who specialize in making absolutely beautiful Goddess sized costumes for belly dance. But, again it’s more work, and for a group performance you may end up with a costume that’s really very different than what everyone else is wearing…. All your sisters have the same costumes, but you don’t get to… sometimes this can make a woman feel a little less like one of the sisters.

Please don’t get me wrong – I love my body. It’s womanly curves, the lines and shapes that make it uniquely mine. I love the strength my body has, it’s ability to move and stretch and dance does fill me with joy. But I have wished sometimes along this journey that teachers and vendors and professional dancers understood a little better how to lessen the chances that those hard bits will leap up and surprise the newer dancers who just happen to be a different size… that even the teachers with amazing figures, who have never struggled with a weight issue, or been the fat girl in gym class, carried with them a few hip scarves in a bigger size just in case someone like me showed up in one of their class…. Just in case they could make a hard part a little less hard.

Because you know what? No matter how much skill, or grace, or amazing ability a dancer has – how much she dreams of shining brighter and standing out in a sea of beautiful dancers - sometimes she really just wants to be one of the girls.

Miriam H.F. Berger is Director of Anka Kusu, a Middle Eastern Music and Dance tribe from New Jersey (www.AnkaKusu.net). She’s been dancing in one form or another since her first ballet class at 5 years old, has both studied and taught jazz as well as acting, stage choreography, and theatrical makeup and has dabbled in various other forms of dance and movement over the years. Miriam had her first direct contact with belly dancers through her involvement in area Renaissance Festivals around 2001 and from the moment of that very first informal belly dance lesson, she knew she'd finally found her home in the dance world. She began her formal study of belly dance in 2004, and currently her primarily focus is on ATS (American Tribal Style), it’s many tribal style offshoots, as well as Middle Eastern folkloric dance.

Photo credit: Lars Lunde.

****Comments ****

Hello,

I am director of a tribal fusion troupe in Wisconsin, and after doing a google search for "senior belly dancers" came across your website and the three articles you have posted. Excellent articles!! And particularly wonderful for me to find because I have been belly dancing for 13 years now, starting in my mid forties, and was feeling as if I should stop dancing because of my age. After reading the articles, I realized that it is dancing that keeps me young, it is the spark in my life, and just because I am 56, doesn't mean I have to give it up because of public perception that I am too old.

We love your articles and wonder if there is any way we might be able to post them on our new website, currently under construction. We want to encourage more local ladies our age, and all sizes, to explore belly dance. I couldn't find anything else online that was so wonderfully worded, and so inspirational, and we would really like to share this with our local dance community.

Thanks,
Kristy